The Neverending Story

When I was 10-years-old I watched the movie, The NeverEnding Story, based on the 1979 book by Michael Ende. My parents were hesitant to let me watch it, mostly because of its ties to the Anthroposophy way of thinking. In the movie, the land of Fantasia is being destroyed by the Nothing and it’s up to a boy reading the book to save Fantasia, its Empress, the main character Atreyu – all while protecting the AURYN (see picture above).

I’m not a big fan of fantasy literature and I don’t believe in mystical thinking, but this story reminds me of the never-ending tasks mothers oversee and how quickly the “Nothing” can try to steal our joy while we do them. The AURYN in the picture has its own mystical meaning and representation but I would like to borrow this little symbol and apply our own purpose to its form.

MOTTO: In the book and the movie the words “Do what you wish” are inscribed on the back of the AURYN so we’ll start with that element. When I wake up in the morning I have a choice. I can literally do what I wish with my day. This applies to mothers that work outside or inside the home. I want each moment to count in my day – but those moments aren’t going to come on their own. I have to be intentional about how I spend my time and I have to protect my time.

I’m not suggesting we plan every minute of the day and refuse to veer from those plans…I just want to get rid of the afternoons when I look around the house and wonder what happened to my day.  So what’s your motto for your day? Mine changes depending on what the day holds. No matter your goals or motto for the day, I hope your energy is given to people first and projects second – keeping a balance that allows you to enjoy your role without it overwhelming you.

DUAL INFINITY: The snakes are meant to represent the sign for infinity and the connection between reality and the world of imagination. I’m not a fan of snakes, but for now I’m going to make the grey one the amazing amount of chores and tasks that literally NEVER END in my world of keeping a house, meals and car serving ME instead of me serving them.  The gold snake will represent the never-ending time I have to spend with my family. Whether here on earth or in heaven I’ll always be with them. They are amazing people and I’m going to try my best to give them a clean and organized home, but most importantly I don’t want to miss out on spending time with them while we’re living in the same house.

THE NOTHING: In the story, the Nothing is trying to destroy Fantasia and it is succeeding because people in the “real world” don’t use their imagination anymore. This emblem of balance and infinity helps give power to the story’s characters so they can defeat the Nothing. Scrubbing toilets, finding lost socks and cleaning up spills might not seem powerful and amazing - but it is! If we chose to sit around and do nothing what would our family think?  Would they feel or see our love? We aren’t servants, but we serve our family because we love them. One way that we serve is through our day-in, day-out attention to the details that help a home stay functional and yes – fun.

Only God can fill the “nothing” space in our inner being. He alone can make us complete. Once we are complete in Him we are given a wonderful gift of the Holy Spirit that helps us see that every small task and every intentional effort, given in love, is being used to bless our family.

In his devotional book, “My Utmost For His Highest”, Oswald Chambers writes on June 15th: “I must realize that my obedience even in the smallest detail of life has all of the omnipotent power of the grace of God behind it”. God’s power is with us and he can even use our imagination to make all those little tasks a bit more fun and full of joy!

Perhaps this post was a bit of a stretch for your imagination but I appreciate you hanging in there with me.  I think the world we live in, Heaven and Hell are the only reality there is, but for a moment today I enjoyed imagining a reality where laundry folded itself, dishes washed themselves and Cheerios stayed on high chair tray.

Well….back to reality right?

The good news is that you can take the first steps toward getting everything done and NOT sacrifice your sanity or time with family. Don’t believe me?  Take a look at our Smart Moms ”Task Tracker” (Task Tracker Template) and see for yourself.  To help you get started I’ve provided the Task Tracker I filled out (Task Tracker Johnson) for me and our family.  Feel free to use mine or create your own.

Print it out, make your own, post it on your mirror and commit to trying it for at least 2 weeks. I’d love to hear your stories of success and discovery – even your suggestions for making this a better resource!  Enjoy!

Kasey

Cyclical Review

Within most classrooms you will find a packet of activities in each child’s desk. This packet is called their “Cyclical Review”. The idea is to bring questions from various disciplines (math, science, history, art) into the student’s day so they realize the world sometimes functions in all areas at all times – it doesn’t follow a class schedule.

The other purpose of a cyclical review is to remind students of math problems and grammar questions from previous years. Students are constantly learning new concepts during the year and we need to help them retain the old while grasping the new.

Last night I had the privilege of speaking to an awesome group of women in Missouri. They are a MOPS group and they were having a retreat – focusing on the Kaleidoscope of life and the ever-changing landscape that we manage as mothers.

When I heard about their theme I immediately thought about the different seasons that pass as our children grow. God gave me some wonderful insight that I first applied to my own life and last night tried my best to articulate what I had learned.

Because these Moms were willing to be real and were truly gracious women, we had a GREAT time discussing things and learning how to apply what God had shown us.  I heard so many stories and ideas coming from their sharp minds.

A precious member of this group, Esther, came up to me after our meeting. I complimented her name because my Grandmother carries the same one and I think it’s beautiful. Esther is a Mentor Mom and she plays a vital role in bringing wisdom and perspective to this group of Moms.  The really great part was that she did the same for me.

After hearing me talk Esther had something to add.  I had never really spent a lot of time thinking about the point she made but it has stuck with me. Esther reminded me that all the seasons and stages we are enduring as mothers don’t stop when our kids go to college.

“In fact”, she chirped with a sweet twinkle in her eye, “you relive each one through your grandchildren, but you have to handle them very differently because these children already HAVE parents”.

I smiled at her and wondered what it was like to look back over so many years and yet feel like she was right in the middle of things once again. We had a wonderful conversation and I thanked her for opening my eyes to the reality that I’m in and the one that awaits me.

I started to think about my parents and my in-laws.  I have a wonderful relationship with my mom and my mother-in-law and for that I am truly grateful. I will ask them to tell me stories about my husband and I’s childhood. The funny thing is that they not only share multiple details, they usually refer to one of our boys to help illustrate their point.

They can see my husband and myself in our children.

It really is cyclical.

It’s all repeating over again and yet, it isn’t.  We’re parenting our kids as best as we can but it helps to hear how things use to be done and what our parents and grandparents experienced in raising us.

My grandparents are still alive and my boys have heard more stories and discovered more love from them than most children get to experience when it comes to their great-grandparents. We love going to their house and just hang out with them. At 90 and 94 years old, my grandparents have been married for 70 years and they STILL live in their home together. I’m simply amazed by them and cherish each moment we have to share in their wisdom and laughter.

I pray about and appreciate the effort our grandparents and great-grandparents have put into knowing our kids. They are investing in our family and giving us so much! I WANT my children to hear their stories. I NEED my boys to understand what their generation endured in order for our current reality to be realized.

Each night the boys pray for all their grandparents. Hearing our guys pray for the ones that have gone before us makes me smile because soon the tables will turn and I will be the Grandma – I pray I will measure up to the examples in our life! I also hope my grandkids will pray for me – I’m sure I’ll need it

One day my boys will be someone’s grandpa and I want them to know what it means to be a good parent, grandparent and family member. It’s all cyclical – I just can’t wait to see what’s next on my little orbit around the planet of parenthood.

No matter what comes my way I know I’ll make it because I have an amazing support base and for that I am truly thankful.

I hope you’re able to think to the future just long enough to appreciate your past and present. We can’t live in the future and worry about controlling things, but I think we can be mindful of what’s coming in hopes of appreciating what is and what has been.

Kasey

5 Ways to Save Money in 2012

I’m excited to have Lindsey Bell as our guest blogger this month! Here’s a post from Lindsey explaining how she budgets, saves and spends her family’s money. Enjoy these very useful ideas and visit her blog to find out more!

Kasey

At the end of November, I asked my three-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas. His response: “A candy cane, Mommy. I want a candy cane.” I should have left it at that.  But naïve mother that I am, I pressured him for more. “No, Rylan, what toys do you want? Like, do you want a bicycle? Or some new cars? Or a Thomas the Train? What toys do you want for Christmas?” My suggestions must have sparked his imagination, because from that day forward, his Christmas list grew. It went from candy cane to IPad, golf clubs and scooter. That’s right. My three-year-old asked for an IPad (he didn’t get one, by the way).

Thus began my new job of teaching my preschooler about money—teaching him that we can’t always get everything we want and sometimes we have to sacrifice a desire for the good of the family. A lesson with which many of us still struggle.

For some reason, even though we live in America that’s supposed to be such a rich nation, money is nonetheless a problem for many people. Blame it on rising costs of living, a lack of education for young adults, greed, or various other reasons. Whatever the cause, you and I don’t have to remain in this constant struggle to make ends meet.

I’m a stay-at-home mom, and my family lives on one income (and I should add, that one income is a minister’s salary). To say money is tight for us is an understatement. Even still, we’ve never missed a payment and have no debt outside of our home. I say all this not to brag (believe me, it’s only by the grace of God and the help of a few wonderful teachers that we are where we are), but to let you know it’s possible. Money doesn’t have to own you. As the New Year begins, it’s the perfect time to make some changes in the way we handle our money—changes that I hope will last long past 2012. Let’s start with these five money-saving tips:

Make a budget.

The time invested in the first few months is well worth it. Sure, it’s a pain in the beginning. But once you’ve developed a system, you’ll find that you’re not only aware of where your money is going, but also able to give and save more. Budgets aren’t supposed to make you feel trapped. They’re supposed to provide you the freedom to spend your money only on those things you really want to spend money on.

To get started, track your expenses for a few months. Keep track of every single penny you spend. Then, by looking at your typical spending habits, make a detailed budget. Here are a few categories you might need to include: housing, car payment, insurance, groceries, phones, utilities, cable, spending money, vacation, eating out, birthday presents, Christmas, gasoline, giving money, etc. Based on your typical paycheck, divide your income into categories so that every dime is accounted for before the month begins. One thing to remember as you prepare your budget—your expenses cannot exceed your income.

Plan your meals in advance and then shop with a list.

I cannot emphasize this enough. My husband and I have a family of four and spend less than three hundred dollars a month on groceries and toiletries combined. And I have two kids in diapers! The only way I’m able to do this is by planning my meals and making a list.

Meal planning, though, does more than save money. It also helps get rid of that after-work/end-of-day stress. Instead of pilfering through the fridge at five o-clock every night, scrambling to come up with a decent meal, you already know exactly what you’ll eat every night of the week. I plan my weeks with a couple of easy meals and a couple of more detailed meals. That way, I can switch up my menu based on how I’m feeling each day.

A third benefit to meal planning is that it allows for healthier eating. When I don’t know what I’m going to cook (or worse, don’t even have the ingredients I need), we’ll go out to eat. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with eating out on occasion. But if it’s an every night event, it can easily break your budget and your scale.

Pay with cash, not credit.

For some reason, paying with cash hurts more. When you’re holding a one hundred dollar bill in your hand, it’s a lot harder to let go of than it is to run a piece of plastic through a machine. Paying with cash causes you to think harder about purchases and make sure they are really worth the cost.

I’m not anti-credit card. My husband and I often use our cards—especially for large purchases so that we can take advantage of reward programs. The key to using a credit card is to pay it off every month. If you can’t pay off a purchase, don’t buy it.

Plan now for end-of-year expenses.

December is always a budget-killer in our household. This past Christmas was even worse. (That’s actually an understatement. I asked for a Dyson vacuum cleaner, so our budget didn’t just take a hit. It sank completely.) But…because we had prepared for December in January through November, we were still able to pay all of our bills without having to go into debt.

Here are a few categories you might want to add into your budget every month: Christmas, new tires (we always seem to need new tires right around Christmas time), car tags (again, ours fall in November and December), property taxes, and car insurance. Simply budget a certain amount of money into these categories every month and store the cash in an envelope or special savings account. When December rolls around this year, you’ll be ready.

Give.

I know it doesn’t really make sense. How can giving money away help you save? I don’t really have an answer for that other than this: the Lord promises that when we give to Him, he will give back to us. Granted, it’s not always in money. But sometimes it is.

When my husband and I were first married, we made a commitment to give ten percent of our income (which wasn’t much) to our local church. We were college students with part-time jobs, so making this commitment was difficult for us. One time, when we literally had no money in our bank account and very little gas left in our cars, someone left an anonymous gift in my mailbox at school—just enough to get us through until the next paycheck. One of the primary reasons my husband and I have never had debt and never missed a payment is this: we give to the Lord. And He gives back.

Along with these five tips are many more: create a babysitting swap instead of paying for sitters, buy generic, use coupons only if they actually save you money, eat in rather than out, bring your lunch to work, etc. If you’d like to read more tips from me, I have a free downloadable document at my blog: http://www.lindsey-bell.com. Stop by anytime. I’d love to chat with you more!

Bringing Baby Jesus Home Week #4

Each year our boys are in charge of setting up the manger scene.  They do a great job and this year they learned something new about the placement of characters. My Father (a brilliant writer, teacher, speaker and man of God) mentioned that the wisemen needed to be placed on top of the refrigerator. The boys looked at him, waiting for the punch line – but there wasn’t one – my Dad was right.

The wisemen traveled over 800 miles to follow the star they saw in the East. This group of scholars was accustomed to meeting Kings and dignitaries during their travels.  Being the type-A, plan-every-step and test-every-theory folks that they were; the men carried perfumes, precious metals and spices with them on this long but very important trip.  Scholars believe that Jesus was a toddler by the time the wisemen arrived, thus the placement on top of the refrigerator.

As a church we celebrate the wisemen’s arrival during the Season of Epiphany.  In fact, this Friday, January 6th we will celebrate the 12th day after Christmas – Epiphany.

The term “epiphany” means to show, reveal or have a sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something.  This Friday we will celebrate how the wisemen revealed Jesus to be the Lord of Lords and the important revelation of Jesus to the Gentiles.

The wisemen recognized who Jesus was and after hearing from an angel not to return to King Herod (Matthew 2:12) they obeyed and protected this precious child.

Most of us have heard these stories before but I wonder if we’ve really taken time to apply this story to our own life.

Isn’t it interesting how God told the shepherds versus how He told the Wisemen? I couldn’t stop thinking about the shepherds, in the field, their faces illuminated with the glory of the angels singing praises to God and announcing Jesus’ birth. Can you imagine their amazement and excitement?  I think (this is my opinion, not a theological statement) God knew that the Shepherds needed to hear the specifics of who they were going to see, why it was important that they go and how to find the child. The Shepherds were brave, but not necessarily educated people. This isn’t to say they weren’t of great value – Jesus referred to Himself as the “Good Shepherd” (John 10:14) and He cares for us just like those men watched over and protected their sheep.

I have learned in my short parenting life that God sends “angels” to tell me what is happening, where to go, what to look for and how to respond. These angels come in the form of my family members, my husband, my friends and the many wonderful authors that I learn from. Sometimes I need God to make things super clear and help me in my journey toward an epiphany.  I’ve experienced some of my best ”ah-ha” moments while listening to other moms share their stories and strategies.

I think God knew that the Wisemen would be looking to the stars in the Heavens before they would ever believe in an angel or look to God for guidance. He used something of this world, astrology, to help these men find their way to the Christ. They knew enough of prophecy to make a connection. The men had to bring King Herod up to speed when they quoted Isaiah 7:14 to Herod and asked where the king of Jews had been born (Matthew 2:2-6).

The Wisemen and the shepherds knew the King of the Jews would come – but they didn’t know how or when. Through angels and stars both groups discovered their Jesus and how the world was going to be changed forever.

So the real question for us is: how has Jesus changed our home? What Epiphany has occurred because Jesus has been discovered and welcomed in?

Maybe this year we’ll decide a television show or radio station isn’t allowed into our home or minds. Maybe we’ll renew our commitment to our spouse and find time to look at each other and just connect. Perhaps we’ll discover something new about our child’s personality or interests and in turn help that child discover more about their role in making this world a better place….it really is amazing what could happen when we allow Jesus to be our Epiphany! He works in so many wonderful ways doesn’t He!?!?!

I love that the Christmas story doesn’t end on December 25th, we get to celebrate again on Friday!

It might sound a bit odd, but this year I’m going to participate in a ‘m going to participate in an old European tradition of marking the doorway of our house with these symbols:

20+C+B+M+12

The numbers represent the year: 2012

The Crosses between each symbol represent Christ

The letters serve a dual purpose: They are the initials of the traditional names of the Three Magi: Caspar, Melchior and Balthasar. They also serve as an abbreviation for the Latin phrase Christus mansionem benedicat, “May Christ bless the house.”

This marking isn’t meant to be something that is worshipped, but instead I want it to be a reminder to me that I’ve asked Christ to bless my home and in turn I want to be a blessing to the people who live here.  Maybe you have something written on your wall or hanging above your door that serves as a reminder to you too…the wording isn’t as important as the intentionality and meaning behind the symbols.

No matter how you chose to celebrate I hope you’ll find time to talk with your family about Epiphany and hear from them how they would like for Christ to reveal Himself in their lives this coming year.

This is a beautiful time of discovery – would you leave a comment about how your family is celebrating or discussing Epiphany?  Have you had an epiphany of your own concerning how Jesus fits into your home and your calling? Please share with us – we need to hear and be encouraged through you!

You are wonderful!

Kasey

100

 I just realized that if I post this before midnight I will complete my 100th post and I think that’s pretty cool.

So in honor of 100 posts I’d like to say some words of thanks:

To my family…from my parents to my mother-in-law to my husband and children – all of them have sacrificed time with me and listened to me dream out loud for hours and hours. Thank you for being supportive and full of wisdom and grace.

To you, our readers…I say “our” because even though I write the posts – I’m not alone in my efforts. Some of you give me the best ideas and then there are others that share your precious time reading and responding to such posts. You inspire me and keep me going. When I see that I have a comment on the blog it makes my day! You guys make me smile and I love reading your thoughts.

To the groups I meet on the road…When group leaders allow me some time with their members I feel incredibly honored and full of anticipation. I’m continually amazed when God leads my heart and mind in a certain direction and then I hear from the women in our meeting about why they needed to hear that particular message. To GOD be the glory – great things He is doing with all of us!

To God… I am still amazed that God thinks I can fulfill this kind of calling. My passion and heart for moms and for women hasn’t dimmed once over the last three years and the ideas in my head and spirit are continuing to flow! I am completely inadequate and unable to do all this without God’s constant leading. He keeps me humble, focused and dependant on Him.

This ministry means the world to me and I’m working hard to fulfill my part of this whole thing while praying that God continues to write the timeline.

Thank you for believing in Smarter Moms, for always striving to learn something new and for helping our community grow.

You are such a blessing to me!

Kasey