Permission Granted: 8 Truths New Moms Need To Hear


permission slip 2Congratulations! You’re a Mommy!

You’ve given birth.

You’ve experienced what it means to sacrifice everything to bring another human into the world.

You’ve probably also discovered how quickly you lose any sense of modesty and/or control of your physical body.

But when you hold that beautiful child in your arms all the pain and fear just wash away…

 

And then you are home, alone, with your baby…

 

Feedings every 2 hours, Mastitis, Colic, uterine contractions, stitches, constant bottle washing, staples, extra weight, hormones, spit up, constant laundry, pumping, the list could go – on but we’ll stop here…

Even if someone TRIES to prepare us for what is to come we don’t understand until we live it.

So here’s my point… no, my PLEA to any new mom out there…

I beg you to ignore the celebrity moms who grace magazine covers and the voice in your head whispering doubt into your spirit.

Instead, please accept the following as a gift from me and other members of our Smarter Moms community – you are not alone and you’re doing great!

Dear new Mom,

You have permission to grieve. During your pregnancy you probably made a plan and had expectations. I hope all your expectations were met and plans came to be – but in case things turned out differently it’s okay to take time to grieve the loss of your expectation. Welcome to parenthood – where expectations are sometimes crushed by reality. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just part of the gig.

You have permission to have a messy house. The laundry, dishes, vacuuming and windows don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you ignore them and PLEASE HEAR THIS – real friends won’t care either!!! Don’t be afraid to have people over – sometimes you need conversation more than cleanliness.

You have permission to cry. You’ll cry at nothing and everything and all that emotion means one thing – you’re normal and you have a soul. The tears won’t flow forever so don’t see them as a weakness, see them as a release.

You have permission to ask for help. Enjoy the fact that people want to help you. Let them bring meals, do laundry and run errands for you – you aren’t superwoman so stop acting like nothing happened and you can do everything like you used to. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK!!!!

You have permission to hate your body. It’s amazing to see parts of our body grow, change and flop in ways it NEVER has before. Some of us bounce back quickly – if that’s you, I’m very happy for you. For the rest of us it’s sometimes a year before we can wear regular jeans again. You can hate the way your body looks, but you gotta love what it’s capable of doing. You created a human being and that matters more than the size of your jeans. Soon you’ll have the energy and drive to reclaim your physique. For now, stay away from the chocolate and Twinkies and get some rest!

You have permission to tell your mother, mother-in-law and other well-meaning family members to go away. Their intentions are good but their follow through can sometimes be lacking. Sometimes they have more suggestions than solutions and their desire to support us begins to feel like they are suffocating us. Be kind, but be firm. They will understand – even if it takes a little time. Do what is best for you and your baby – trust yourself.

You have permission to call “cold cereal” dinner. When it comes to feeding others and yourself you want to keep things healthy and routine, but there are days when the exhaustion, sleep deprivation and physical strain are too much. On those days you don’t have to justify the pizza, cereal or frozen lasagna on the table (I’m not a new mommy and this STILL happens in our house – just keeping it real)

You have permission to mess up. While trying to trim my newborn’s nails I actually cut the skin on the tip of his finger. I felt awful! How could I hurt my baby!? Once I laid my newborn on the sofa and I didn’t place him far enough back – and he fell onto the floor! I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that to anyone, not even my husband – but ya know what? He’s fine. He’s a healthy, handsome sixth grader. Make mistakes, laugh at yourself, learn from them and MOVE ON! Don’t live with guilt or fear, they drain you emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally. Guilt and fear don’t deserve to have the best parts of you – save those for your baby.

Having a baby doesn’t mean you will have the answers.

It does mean you have the chance to learn from your yesterdays, enjoy your today and look forward to your tomorrow.

And if anyone questions you or tries to make you feel guilty – just show them your permission slip – or as I like to call it, your baby.

Children are more important than our reputations or other people’s expectations…take care of yourself and you’ll be able to care for others.

One day, one hour, one task at a time. It’s better that way.

You are loved!

Kasey

 

3 Responses to “Permission Granted: 8 Truths New Moms Need To Hear”


  1. 1 izzyeli August 7, 2014 at 4:37 PM

    Reblogged this on izzyeli's Blog and commented:
    Best advice ever!!

  2. 2 oliveoylnavywife August 7, 2014 at 7:33 AM

    Thank you thank you for this post. I needed it today x

  3. 3 1formoab August 7, 2014 at 7:29 AM

    Reblogged this on Mainely Bonkers and commented:
    This is great advice!


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