What matters most…

fragile sticker on bellyMonday mornings have become much better for me ever since I found the amazing kickboxing class at our gym.  The instructor is beyond good – she’s amazing.  She’s that kind of personality that you want to follow – someone who pushes you without putting you down – a great teacher for that kind of setting.  The class has a physical and mental challenge that starts my week off great.  When I’m done pushing myself to the limit for an hour in class I am dripping with sweat but there is a smile on my face. 

Having time for myself and getting a chance to focus on trying something new and challenging my body in a fresh way…what a wonderful time that was.  I say was because we are no longer members at that gym and yesterday I had to actually push past the sadness (as bizarre as that sounds) of missing my class, my friends and my instructor.  Now before you judge these seemingly shallow toils and troubles – let me give you a little more background behind our abrupt departure from the gym.

Our first-born son, Matthew, is amazing.  He is so sensitive and smart – but he is also our first child and therefore must endure countless experiments, trials and errors.  His brothers have no idea how much they owe him.  If  he ever discovers his involuntary role in this clinical trial I call “parenting” he might demand compensation! 😮  Our first big trial came during kindergarten.  Looking back, we started him a full year too early.  He had turned 5 in July and started school the next month.  We thought he was ready, he thought he was ready and by all accounts he was doing great!  Then we hit 2nd grade and that’s when everything starting coming to the surface. 

We watched, helplessly, from the sidelines as our son – our precious boy – lost all desire to learn, to grow and to try new things.  His behavior at school and home was completely out of character and beneath all these negative actions was a spirit of frustration, anger and disappointment.  After countless conversations, academic tests and prayers we were certain that putting him back in the 1st grade was the best choice.  The principal at his school denied our request to move him to another school and put him in 1st grade – so we began praying. 

Through amazing connections with family and friends and financial miracles too numerous to discuss here, we were able to send him to a Christian school.  This was the school we had always wanted him to attend, but God knew we had to find our own way and now he is in the 1st grade and thriving!  He is confident, curious and we aren’t having any behavioral issues at home anymore.  The pressure is off and the joy of learning has returned!  Thank you Lord!

Even with all the miracles we still had to be realistic about our budget and when we looked at the “extras” in our lives the gym was in that category.  It wasn’t a hard decision to give that money toward tuition each month, but I knew I would miss it.   I kept thinking of the verses from Psalm 37.  The scripture says, “Trust in the LORD and do good…delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him and He will do this”.

Did you catch that last line?! What a WONDERFUL promise!  He WILL do this.  So if God has promised to be there, what’s our responsibility in this?  I think we need to:

  • keep doing good
  • keep committing our ways to Him
  • trust God
  • give Him desires of our heart

I believe He will help purify our desires, He will strengthen us as we go along our way and He will prove His trustworthiness as we watch His will for our lives come to light each day. 

I truly can delight myself in the Lord and see all that He has done for our family.  He’s given my son a place to thrive, he’s provided for our needs and the real bonus!?!?!  Remember that amazing instructor from the gym that I told you about?  She let me have a videotape of 2 of her classes so I can watch them at home.  She’s even volunteered to come to our house and help me come up with some exercises I can do on my own!  Isn’t God good!?  He does give us the desires of our heart – if we will follow His call for our lives. 

We are walking by faith more than we ever have before.  Thank you for letting me have this chance to bring God the glory He so deserves.  My son’s spirit is being strengthened each day and that brings my heart more joy than I can express.  My muscles might not be as strong as they use to be; but my faith is definitely stronger and one day, when Matthew asks me what it means to sacrifice, I think I’ll tell him this story. 

So I’ve decided that when I look at the clock and realize class is starting at the gym and I’m not there I have a choice.  I can be sad and miss it – or I can take that opportunity to pray for my instructor, the women I met in that class and give praise to God for meeting our needs and caring for our child.  God loved me so much he sacrificed His Son, on a cross.  I think I can give up some cardio time…it seems really small in comparison but for me it is still a sacrifice and it is worth making.

Our life as a mother began with sacrifice.  Do you REMEMBER being pregnant?!?!  Some of us had it easier than others – but still, it was a sacrifice.  I can’t help but wonder what kind of sacrifices my mother made for me that I might never know about.  No matter the level of sacrifice, our greatest investment is in our children and our family.  Some of us are sacrificing a career, a nicer car, new clothes – even the chance to stay home and raise our children; because we are doing what is best for our kids.  We are putting them first. 

When the sacrifices seem too much, just remember your heavenly Father and the sacrifice He made for you.  If He loves you that much, how much more will He support you and provide for your needs!? You are an amazing woman because you are a mom.  May you continue to see the desires of your heart coming true!  Blessings on you and your family!


4 Responses to “What matters most…”

  1. 1 Chrysy huff November 4, 2009 at 11:39 PM

    Love the beginning when you talk about the “clinical trial son”. I have never had that phrase in my vocabulary to describe raising my first born but that totally describes it! Your a good mom and your making wise decisions. I am proud to know you and be touched by your ministry keep seeking Him. Thanks for the great reads!!

  2. 3 Jill November 4, 2009 at 12:00 PM


    It’s amazing to see how God works! We recently experienced something similar with our oldest son. He was having several difficulties in his pre-k school with behavior and learning as well as at home. As we delved further into the situation we realized he needed more then he was receiving. The preschool he was attending was free to us as a pastor’s family so to think of sending him elsewhere was a challenge financially and emotionally, so we prayed. We began researching other schools in our area and found a place that was what we thought a perfect fit for Landyn. Then we found out the cost and began to second guess moving him. A few days later the director from that school called us and informed us he’d give us a discount on our monthly rate. This was a huge blessing and confirmed our decision to move him to this new school! It is still a burden financially but God is good to provide us with some help. We moved Landyn 1 month ago and he is doing extremely well. He loves going to school and the behavior issues have almost disappeared totally. We are so blessed by God’s abundant grace and provision in our lives and for giving us the clear open door to move him. Thank you for reminding me that although it is a difficult sacrifice each month on our budget, it is well worth it for the success and growth we see in Landyn! God is so good!


    • 4 Kasey Johnson November 4, 2009 at 4:15 PM

      Jill – thank you so much for sharing your story! I don’t believe God ALWAYS has to give us peace, confirmation and proof that our concerns were correct – but isn’t it wonderful when He DOES!?!? I’ll be praying for Landyn…he is blessed to have parents that go beyond what is convienent and even economical to do what is best for him.

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